I’m clearing out ‘stuff’ including paintings by my mum Dymphna. One of her paintings in particular irritates me. In it she has tried to capture my mood of defensiveness. Accurately or not, it does capture my reactivity to ‘touch with expectations’ that still affects me. Time to edit, create a new story from ‘this is not me’ to ‘this is who I am’.
Progressing on … a quote by Harley Davidson seems apt: “when writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”.
I’m tired of the overwhelming anger from my childhood experience of being separated from my mother at birth. My mum had a dream for me, her only daughter, but not the personal skills or physical room, to give me emotional and physical safety to overcome my trauma. She did not know me. I know me. Now I can nurture that young girl and take her to safety.