It’s not often I write but the opinion piece ‘Foetal Attraction’ by Kathy Lette in yesterday’s Advertiser requires a response from me as an adoptee (Advertiser, SA Weekend, March 28-29, p. 31).
Lette commences her light hearted approach to this serious subject: ‘would you rent your womb’ and goes on to say why she would do this for her son as ‘like most mums, [she] would do anything for her children’. What she does not consider is the effect on the child’s psyche and the potential complexity of her relationship with her son, and his child, as mother and grandmother (mother from the child’s in-womb experience).
My response to the question raised in the Advertiser: ‘Would you go through a pregnancy to help your child?’ was:
In a word – no! Kathy Lette’s article portrays a romantic notion of surrogacy and adoption separated from the known implications for the baby who is destined to a life of psychic disconnect. While her generosity is out of love for her son she has not considered the implications of parenting a child who is separated at birth from his/her known world. The experiences of those affected by adoption are well documented for those who want to hear.
Discussions about surrogacy and adoption continue to focus on the rights of the adults who want to be parents. Serious research is yet to be conducted to objectively capture the life-long effects of developmental attachment trauma on adoptees who as newborn he infants were removed from the familiarity of the womb and placed in a strange environment often with parents who were grieving their inability to produce their own offspring. It is not difficult to extrapolate their experience to surrogacy.
‘Without Consent – Australia’s past adoption practices’ will be officially opened tomorrow 30th March 2015 and will be travelling around Australia. The exhibit will continue to be available online at the National Archives of Australia website, as a chronicle of the pain of adoption.
“Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Matt 11:15).